Urkel

My Yelp picture and last years Halloween costume:



I braved it and went to the oyster bar...people thought I was the nastiest shit that ever landed.

Diapers

OK, I know I have an obsession with adults wearing diapers...because it's hilarious but I didn't think anyone was ever going to make clothes that REPLICATE THAT!!!

I went into Max Studio (my livelihood of 4 years) last night because I haven't been in the store in nearly a year and picked up a lookbook. To my dismay, Mr. Leon Max has decided to make these hideous looking "relaxed" pants that seriously looks like the mannequins wearing an adult sized diaper and dropped a load in her pants:



I am soo disgusted. What a terrible, terrible idea.

Rock-A-Doodle

On Deal or No Deal right now:



Close resemblance to Rock-A-Doodle

Shakin' Jesse

The shake was fantastic. Wow.

Daily Candy

I just received my Daily Candy e-mail and I am in complete awe right now. French 75's are my favorite drink in the entire world. Lavender is my favorite seasoning for food/drink (well, currently); Daily Candy completely blew my mind just now with a new restaurant that is opening and has this cocktail:

Boisson: cocktails include the Lavender French 75 and the Dark & Foggy.

OH MY GOSH! If I have found a replacement for my favorite drink in the world (The Violet Hour: Citadelle Gin, Parfait Amour, vermouth, with a candied lavender on the bottom) I may keel over and convulse on the floor upon sucking this baby back!

I am going to get a Neuromuscular Massage tomorrow...I am interested to see how this goes. I'm kind of disturbed that I'm lying in bed, NOT getting ready for work right now (wearing a white tank and white skivvies, who do I think I am a larger version of Nicole Kidman in Eyes Wide Shut?) and paying bills. I guess it's definitely a Friday. BUT for lunch (I'm already excited about it, as you can tell) I am going to try the Guinness Shake that I've always felt too guilty to eat, but it's the week of St. Patrick's Day so why not! This things is mind boggling: Guinness Stout, Chocolate Ice Cream, and Espresso Milkshake. BUH BUH BUH BUH BUH BUH. I KNOW, MY REACTION WAS TOTALLY THIS WHEN I HEARD ABOUT IT TOO:

I took this picture with my computer on the ride out to Sacramento, look how beautiful it is:

That white layer is mist, I was lucky enough to wake up in darkness and watch the sun rise, it was really amazing because the only times I do that it's usually after not sleeping the entire night and I am inchoate.

Well, today I am completely and totally thankful for my job and that they are flexible with scheduling (seriously, I've never worked at a place that is so forgiving about inconsistency with the times people come in)! 

OH FRIDAY I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

Don't Tickle my Pickle

I was getting a manicure/pedicure a few days ago and while the lady was pumicing the bottom of my foot, my foot twitched because it tickled/is really sensitive. So the woman starts massaging my feet/calf and I leaned my head back, closed my eyes, and relaxed then she switches to the other foot. After about 5-10 minutes, she starts putting her index fingers on the bottom of my feet and begins a weird technique (or so I thought), then 10 seconds in I open my eyes which she has been WAITING for me to do and starts CRACKING UP because she was trying to "tickle" me. So weird...

Oh man, writing up my meeting notes to Thin Lizzy, The Boys Are Back In Town. What'd I'd give for a 3pm BUD LIGHT in a special aluminim bottle and a huge deck with a pool and some VITA-O-MIN DEEE. My muscle's are bulging out of my shirt, I think my sleeves are going to burst open any minute.

Choo Choo Ka

I get to take the train to a meeting tomorrow. Not like BART but a train with FOOD and TABLES. Yessss, it's one thing to take the train to San Jose as leisure...to meet up with somone; it's another thing to take the train to a business outing. This means i can SLEEP during my (one day a month) long commute! Oh Yes! Oh Yes! Oh YES!

BRAVO WHISKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My co-worker sent this to me today, this is so awesome! Seriously, this may be one of the best finds on the net:

When you think you're funny...

...pictures like this are taken when the sun's about to rise:

OH MY GOSH IT'S SOOOOO FUNNY TO STICK CIGARETTE BUTTS UP YOUR NOSE IN FRONT OF A CAMERA! not.

Statistically Speaking

It looks as though the pinnacle of my procrastination falls between the hours of 10am-12pm. I guess the verdict is...I'm not a mid morning person. That's bowel movement hour. GOSH.

Bedrest

A list of what I have watch in the last 48 hrs while not seeing the light of day:

No Country for Old Men
In the Realms of the Unreal
Endless epsidodes of The Office - Season 2
Children of Paradise
Humboldt County
An episode of Wives Swap

I think that's all, that's a lot of movies/television. I feel disgusted with myself for indulging so much, granted I was sick. The most productive thing I did was probably drink TheraFlu and cough up phlegm that was green and yellow.

I'm ready for bed again.