When is enough, enough? When is not enough, enough? I wish I could answer these questions myself. I still clutch for this person in the night and in the morning. No matter how poorly I was treated, no matter how fucked up everything that happened was, it still doesn't take away from the mere fact that all I want is said subject. For the last month, I've felt like an old building being demolished by a ball and crane, repeatedly. Just when I think I've made the right decision and I feel strong enough to stand again, all of these thoughts reinforce the feeling that I've lost something so dear to me, a friend, a companion, a great love. And with that positive reinforcement tags along so many unanswered questions: was it infatuation? Was I in over my head? Was I just a means for this person to get back on their feet after being beat down? And if so, why me? What'd I do to receive such a nasty blow? What kind of horrible things have I done this year to be totally ripped of pride, dignity and lose something I cared about so deeply? Why the fuck am I writing this in a blog?
I'm just exhausted of exhausting this situation. I'm ready for the positive memories to be flooded out by the severity of the issue at hand so I can move along.
And my god, I hate U2 but:
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
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