I was looking through my documents on my work computer when I came across a file called "Things I...", when I opened the document this is what I found inside:
Things I’ve Learned from Living in Oakland
1.) Crackheads are (mostly) harmless unless you leave valuables unlocked. 90% of the time they’ll just state the obvious in broken English.
2.) Any Oakland sports teams will indubitably have the most obnoxious fans known to mankind.
3.) It’s possible to find a dad in his 40’s from Berkeley (escaping the bonds of his sustainable, PC bitch Berkeley wife) reading a Nicholas Sparks novel in an Oakland café.
4.) Tumbleweave is spotted on almost every block of San Pablo Ave.
5.) AC Transit drivers are fucking erratic, angry ex crackheads that should probably still be smoking crack: if you’ve found your happy place just remain there and not behind a wheel driving innocent patrons.

Hmmmmmm...on that note